Juliana Read online

  “Uh, well ….” I wanted to run.

  Juliana’s eyes bored into me. “Will you do that, Alice? Send me an invitation to your wedding?”

  “Yes, of course.” I forced a smile.

  She nodded and walked swiftly to her escort who crushed out his cigarette on the curb and helped her into the car.

  “I simply despise that woman,” Virginia said as we headed down the street.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Another heat wave swept through the city. I envied those lucky souls who had pulled off their shoes and socks to stick their feet in the fountain spray. There were more than the usual number of cars and buses driving into the park through the Washington Square Arch preventing me from walking as fast as I wanted. A few sailors passed by talking excitedly about being in New York City for the first time.

  “Come in,” Virginia said, opening the screen door. “How cute you look. I haven’t had the nerve to buy a pair of trousers yet.”

  “All the girls are wearing them nowadays. I don’t look too sloppy, do I? I’m not even wearing makeup.”

  “Who can get makeup these days? The stores rarely have it with all the ingredients going to the war. Then, when they do have it, the lines go around the block.”

  “But it’s our duty as Americans to keep wearing it.” I stood at attention and saluted Virginia. “We must stay pretty for the morale of our fighting men, as they keep telling us.”

  “You’re terrible.” She laughed. “Making fun. The most casual thing I had was this shirtwaist dress. It’s old. I can’t bring myself to buy a dress with plastic buttons. And that new length! Scandalous! But the way this belt cuts me in half. Does it make me look fat?”

  “You always look nice. A little too nice for moving furniture. You be the brains, and I’ll be the brawn.” I weaved in and out of Virginia’s boxes toward Max’s couch.

  “Shirl brought these things over in her truck this morning. You know I’ll only be here while he’s not .”

  “Of course. Let’s get started. ”

  “I’m afraid people will think I’ll be here waiting when he comes home. I wouldn’t do that.”

  “Stop worrying, Virginia. So, what’s first?”

  “Would you mind terribly putting Max’s ‘David’ and the other naked man statue some place other than the parlor? If I were to have guests, what would they think finding those in this old maid’s domicile?”

  “That you have an active imagination?”

  “Oh, stop.” Virginia giggled.

  I put my shoulder to the David and said, “How about the bedroom?”

  “Well, I guess no one but me will be going in there. Put him in the closet.”

  When I got back into the parlor, Virginia was arranging her African violets on the windowsill where the David had been.

  “I’ll take the other naked man into Max’s—I mean, your room.”

  “You know, I never stayed overnight here. I wouldn’t want you to think—”

  “Stop worrying.”

  “I have this.” She held out a service banner with a blue star. “Do you think it would be awful of me to hang it? I mean, he’s not in my family so it might look—”

  “Hang it. The men need to know we’re behind them and that we … love them.”

  “Yes,” she said softly and turned to hang the star in the window.

  A boy called in through the screen door, “Flowers for Miss Virginia Sales.”

  “Virginia, someone sent you flowers.”

  “I know. Me .”

  I opened the door, and the boy brought in two big bouquets of roses that Virginia placed in crystal vases—only, she called them vahzes—that she’d found in one of her boxes.

  “I have more in the truck,” the boy said, hurrying to get them. Virginia and I followed him, and all three of us came back with our arms filled with roses, mums, orchids, lilies, and some kinds I’d never seen before. The smell of the flowers filled the room so that you couldn’t smell the lingering staleness of Max’s cigarettes.

  “My goodness, Virginia, look at them all.”

  “I’ve always wanted to surround myself with fresh flowers,” she explained, “but my mother considered flowers a frivolous waste of money. She’s probably right, but I have a standing order for every other day.”

  “It’s like you’re starting a new life.”

  “I’m trying.”

  “I’ll put the naked man away and then we can get to the rest of the stuff.”

  “Could it wait a moment?”

  “Did you want me to do something else first?”

  “I got another letter from Max. I want to read it to you. I thought it’d be an appropriate way to begin my sojourn here. It would almost feel as though he were here with us today. ”

  “Go ahead.”

  “I’ll get us some iced tea. We can talk like girlfriends.”

  “I’ll help you.”

  “You sit. It’s all prepared.”

  Virginia returned wearing an apron with lace around the edges. She carried a silver tray that held two tall glasses of ice, a glass pitcher of tea, and a small plate with a few lemon slices. She placed the tray on the coffee table and sat. “I’m sorry I don’t have sugar. It’s hard to get. I was lucky to get these lemons.”

  “This is fine. I’m getting used to tea without sugar.”

  She reached into her brassiere to pull out the letter. “This letter is somewhat … well, special.”

  Dear Virginia,

  I just came back from R&R in XXXX.

  “That’s blacked out by the military.”

  It’s a quiet little town seemingly untouched by this war. I got myself a hotel room. All I wanted was to be alone. I didn’t even go out looking for—you know.

  “What?”

  “A man,” she whispered.

  “Oh. Yes.”

  “What I wanted was a shower and to sleep undisturbed by smelly, snoring men. I wanted to lie naked and clean between white sheets, to feel human again. One never appreciates the simple amenities until they’re gone. After the shower, I slept for hours.

  This time I dreamed the most wonderful dream. Not the type I’ve written you about. In this dream, I saw fields of corn and tomatoes, growing, living, things. And at the end of one of the rows of corn, I saw you.

  “Al,” Virginia looked up. “He dreamed of me. He’s over there fighting a war and he dreamed of me . That must mean something. Don’t you think?”

  “Uh … I don’t know much about dreams.”

  “He goes on.”

  You were beckoning to me and I wanted to come to you .

  “He wanted to come to me. Surely, that means something.”

  “I don’t know what happened after that. I suppose I just went on to some other dream. I awoke from my sleep completely rested, and my mind buzzed with ideas. When I get home, I will open my new club immediately. No more waiting or trying to convince people to back me. This time I shall have the entire United States government behind me. This new club will make Jules Podell at the Copa drool. The scuttlebutt is that when this war is over, veterans will be eligible for low-interest government business loans. They probably won’t give me as much as I need, but it’ll give me a good start and with government backing how could the others say no. I’ll attract plenty of investors this time. They won’t say no to Max Harlington like they have before. I worked with Irving Berlin, I was in the stage play and film versions of This Is the Army. I shook hands with FDR and I fought for democracy in North Africa, and now, I’m here doing the same thing.

  “It makes me so happy to hear him talk like this, so hopeful.”

  “How could I not attract investors this time? Max Harlington, war hero, is coming back! I’m coming back to the top, Virginia, old girl. I can feel it. Can’t you?

  Virginia slowly refolded the letter and put it back in her bra. “I haven’t heard him this happy in years.” Her lip quivered as a few tears fell down her face.

  “What’s wr
ong?”

  “The last time I read it, I missed the ‘old girl’ crack.”

  “I think that was just his clumsy way of being affectionate.”

  “Like a cowboy being affectionate with his horse.”

  “Oh, come on. He dreamt about you.”

  She wiped her eyes. “Yes. He did, didn’t he?”

  “He sure did. That must mean something.” I didn’t believe what I was saying, but I wanted to for Virginia’s sake. “Let’s get going on these boxes.” I jumped off the couch. “What have you got in here?”

  “That one there has some favorite books. There’s a little room on Max’s bottom bookshelf. Usually I go to the library and borrow books. I like the quiet orderly atmosphere. But I do have some favorites I like owning.”

  I pulled a few books from the box. “Dale Carnegie’s How to Stop Worrying and Start Living . Did this help?”

  “You’ve heard me today. What do you think?”

  “Not much.” I laughed. “Virginia!” I held up Forever Amber . “This is sposed to be a very racy book. Boston banned it. ”

  “I know.” She covered her face with her hands. “Do you think I’m terrible?”

  “Yes. And I plan to go right out and get a copy myself. What exactly is it about?”

  “A bad girl who gets a second chance at romance. I can dream, can’t I?”

  “You’re not a bad girl.”

  “Not many people would agree with you. But you’ll be a married lady soon. You must be very excited.”

  “Uh, I guess. So, you want these on that shelf over here?”

  “Are you and Henry having problems?”

  “No. Maybe. It’s me. It’s nothing. I’m going to unpack the rest of these books. I’m just a little worried.”

  “Maybe Dale Carnegie could help you because you should be overjoyed right now. You’re going to be married. You’ll have your own home. Children. You have a wonderful life ahead of you. You shouldn’t be worried about a thing.”

  “You’re right. And Henry is such a good man.”

  “And he’ll be a good provider with his job at Scribner’s.”

  “I’ll never have to worry about ending up living in a cardboard box on the street.”

  “You’ll make a beautiful bride.”

  “Everything will be like a fairy tale, except ….”

  “Except …?”

  “I never had that fairy tale. You know, the one where Prince Charming is sposed to sweep me off my feet.”

  “Well, it appears you got him anyway. I’m sure a lot of girls are envious.”

  “I know I should be grateful, but ….”

  “No one will ever call you an old maid. They’ll never pity you. Even that should be enough.”

  “Should it? Could I ask you something seeing you’re more experienced than me?”

  “More experienced than you? At what?”

  “Well … I shouldn’t ask. It’s not my business, but …” I mumbled, looking down, “Sex.”

  “Oh, Al, I’m not experienced in that at all.”

  “But your mother said—”

  “Come over here and sit down on the couch. My mother says lots of things, especially lately. The other day she accused me of stealing her doilies. I found them stuffed in a drawer in her bedroom. I don’t know what’s wrong with her these days, but I haven’t, well, you know, done that in years. It’s been …. You won’t tell anyone? I don’t want Max figuring out my age. It’s been twelve years since I—”

  “You mean after that man you never ….”

  “Never. I know lately my mother talks like I’m, well, one of those women. She never used to say things like that, but the last six months or so she …. I’d be too afraid to be like that. I’d like to help you, but …. What did you want to ask me?”

  “Oh, geez I thought you might be the one person I could talk to about this. My roommate, Aggie’s on tour and I couldn’t talk about something like this on the telephone. What if the operator listened in? I don’t know anyone else, but you who’s—well—done ‘it’. Maybe you could tell me …. Oh, gosh, I can’t do this.”

  “Ask me. I want to help you, if I can.”

  “When you were with that guy, did you … did you feel anything when he …?”

  “Uh, well. It’s been a long time, but …” She looked over at her African violets. “I do remember … I wanted very much to … be with him. In that way.” Sweat beaded up on her forehead, but she kept going. “Obviously, it—it interfered with my good judgment. Why are you asking me that particularly?”

  “’Cause …. It’s not important.”

  “You’ve been with Henry, haven’t you?”

  “No! I never—”

  “You know, you don’t have to hide it from me.”

  “Okay, Henry and I have … I know we shouldn’t have, but there’s a war on and—”

  Virginia laughed. “Henry’s not a soldier.”

  “Yeah, but I didn’t want him to feel left out.”

  She laughed again and both our faces burned red. “Do you think I’m awful?” I asked.

  “Look who you’re asking. Are you worried that you’re … in a family way?”

  “No. I used protection my roommate told me about. It’s something else. We’ve only done it a few times, but I never feel all that much. Do you think I’m frigid?”

  “I think that’s the kind of question you should ask a doctor.”

  “You mean like a doctor for your head?”

  “Maybe. I’m not sure.”

  “Maybe it doesn’t matter as long as Henry’s happy. He’s kind, and he’ll give me a good life.”

  “True. That’s what I’ve tried to convince Max.”

  “What?”

  “That we could get married. The … physical side wouldn’t have to matter. He could have his boys and …. Sometimes, I pretend Max is Joan’s father, and I imagine Max and I are together, making a home for her and she comes to live with us. Such a foolish old maid I am.”

  “I think it’s a nice dream. How old is Joan now?”

  “Eleven. I just hope Joan has the good sense, as she grows older to leave the boys alone, get a good education, and then find a good man to marry. But, of course, I’ll never know.” She took out a handkerchief and wiped her eyes. “ I’m sorry I brought the conversation around to my troubles when we were talking about yours. I wish I knew how to help you.”

  “You won’t tell anybody? I mean about me not being a—” I whispered, “—a virgin and about being frigid.” I glanced out the window just as Juliana walked by. I ran over to get a better look and quickly squatted down so that only my eyes peered over the African violets.

  “What are you doing?” Virginia asked, standing behind me.

  “Nothing.” I straightened up, sticking my hands in my pockets.

  “You wouldn’t be watching Juliana in front of Reggio’s talking to that girl? Would you?”

  “What girl? I didn’t see that .” I swung around and saw Juliana smiling at this girl about my age, her hair flowing down her back in blonde waves, a straw hat with ribbons hanging down. Juliana wore a breezy, blue and white dress that flared out around her knees with matching short gloves and a wide-brimmed hat with little blue flowers on it. She took off her sunglasses to look at the girl more closely. A few people stepped out of Reggio’s onto the sidewalk, but not one of them passed Juliana by without taking a moment to look at her. Everyone always looked at Juliana; she was never invisible like me. “Do you think Juliana’s making love to that girl?”

  “Undoubtedly. That’s what’s Juliana does. She has girlfriends all over the city and all over the country, too. Her poor husband, risking his life, not knowing a thing about it. But what is that to you? You’ll be married soon.”

  “It doesn’t matter to me. I was just wondering.” The girl shook her bigger-than-mine breasts at Juliana. “All over the country, huh?”

  “That’s what I’ve heard. Come finish your iced tea and forget ab
out what’s going on out there.”

  “Yeah,” I said, but I didn’t move. I watched Juliana laugh at what that girl had said and gesture delicately with her gloved hand. She smiled and put her sunglasses back on and the girl left.

  “She’s going, Virginia. The girl’s going. Maybe it’s nothing.”

  “Do you want to go and ask Juliana?”

  “I couldn’t do that. I mean I don’t care. I’m getting married next week. And besides I’m mad at her.”

  “Good. Stay mad. Let’s get some work done.”

  “Sure.” I didn’t move from the window.

  “You want to go out and say hello to her, don’t you?”

  “No. I’m here to help you.”

  “Then you’ll come back after you’ve exchanged a few pleasantries. Al, be careful. She’s not good for you. Henry is. I’ll be waiting for you. Come back.”

  I dashed out the apartment just as Juliana was about to step into Reggio’s .

  “Hey, Juliana!” I yelled. Then kicked myself. I’m mad at her. How can I be out here chasing her?

  She turned and slid her sunglasses off while I crossed the street passing the sidewalk diners in front of the café.

  “Trousers?” she said.

  That girl had looked so feminine. “Well with the war, I—”

  “They’re very becoming.”

  “Yeah?” The way she looked at me made me shiver in the heat.

  “I haven’t received my invitation to your wedding yet.”

  “I’m gonna send it. Soon.”

  “I got the feeling you didn’t want me to come.”

  “I’ll send it tonight.”

  “Will you?” She put her sunglasses back on and looked toward the sky. “It’s such a delicious day, I didn’t want to spoil it by wearing underclothes. I was going to get a bit of lunch. Would you care to join me?”

  “Yeah.” What’d she say?

  “Let’s get a seat inside. It’s cooler than outside.”

  “Okay.”

  I knew I should get back to helping Virginia like I promised, but ….

  As we entered, patrons sipping iced cappuccinos stopped sipping to watch. I could practically hear them whispering, “Who is she? Which movie star?”